Expant

Today I’m wearing massive knicks
I know you didn’t ask,
But more room means less need to prune
And saves on grooming tasks!

Today I’m wearing big ass blooms
Perhaps you’ve heard enough
But they keep my insides quite intact
In case I sneeze and cough

Today my lingerie is large
They pull up quite a stretch
They even keep my boobies warm
As well as hidden depths

Today I’m in my biggie smalls
And feeling mighty swell
Cause later in my evening dress
I’ll have no vpl

Today my drawers were hung to dry
Billowing on the line
The cat was caught like para-cord
And flew into the sky

Alas today my pants are gone
With the cat in Spain
We tracked them with his microchip
And a media campaign

I guess it’s time to toe the line
And wear some grown up briefs
But all that I can think of is
My pants on Spanish streets

I’ve started a new crowd-fund page
To unite with my undies
And if it looks to go quite well
I might be there by Sunday

Big pants have more than changed my life
The fruit of my campaign
I’m going to make my fortune shipping
‘Pantalones grandes’ to Spain!